I was just thinking about something.

Yesterday I felt that most wonderful feeling of depression - that worthlessness, that nothing is right, everything is wrong, and "Why am I here?"
I want to know.
I WANT TO KNOW
Why is it like this?
Why did our evolution steer some of us into such a horrible place? Or is it evolutionary?
I can't seem to fix it completely. It always seems like it's overwhelming, but the truth is, when I 'wake up' out of that state again, I realize every time its less and less strong, and less frequent. That's a great feeling to know, but I still havn't gotten euphoria for atleast a month.
Fuck...

Well, I'm planning on making a log.... Maybe I can just keep it here (blogger), of when I'm feeling the ups and when I'm feeling the downs. Maybe there's a pattern.

It's just so weird, when your in one state, the other state (euphoria or depression) seem so meager. No matter what. It's almost impossible to just snap out of it, but I'm learning. There is triggers.

Both for and against it.

Life so cruel, I am determined to discover you.